Mountain Man Regret (Mountain Men Book 2) Read online

The club in question was The Devils MC club which Owen was a prospect for. It was the same club that I’d once belonged to and I’d come pretty damn close to being voted in as President before I’d come to my senses and walked out a couple of years ago. My dad had founded the club and been its president for twenty years before the heart attack which took his life a few years ago. As his vice president, I had been next in line to take over.

  Trouble was, in the few years I’d been VP, I’d seen some things start to change in the club and I hadn’t liked the direction they were heading. So I left. Ryker, my pop’s road captain had taken up the gavel and under his leadership, the club had gone to shit.

  Part of me regretted leaving and not stepping up to the mark when I should have, but at the time, I didn’t believe I would have made a good president. Losing Caroline had hit me hard then not a year later my old man bit it.

  When I found out that a few of the club’s members were involved in some shady dealings, I was done. I’d taken all my anger and frustration out on my brothers, blaming them all for the shortcomings of a few.

  If I’d have been thinking clearly, I would have held off on my decision to leave. I could have implemented some changes when I’d taken up the gavel and made it clear that I wanted a clean ship and not the outlaw club that we were becoming.

  But it was too late for what ifs.

  I’d made my bed, for what it was.

  “At least we have an in,” Ethan noted, tearing me out of my reverie. “It shouldn’t be too difficult to learn how far up the food chain this goes.”

  I frowned, not liking where this was going. “How do you figure that?”

  Confusion clouded Ethan’s expression. “Because Luke is still in the club.”

  “Luke isn’t going to tell us shit,” I said. “Despite some of the bad stuff that’s going on there, he loves that club and when he patched in, he swore to keep its secrets. He’s not going to rat out his brothers.”

  “We’re his brothers too,” Ethan pointed out. “Jesus, we all went to kindergarten together. Doesn’t he owe us loyalty too?”

  I bit out a curse. “I’m not getting into this, Ethan. You don’t understand club life. You didn’t grow up with it in your blood.”

  “No,” Ethan said. “I don’t understand it. Because I choose to uphold the law, not break it.”

  I shot him a glare. “Luke is a straight up guy. He would never be involved in shit like this. How can you fucking say that?”

  “Boys,” Smoke reprimanded gruffly. “Let’s keep this civil, okay?”

  Ethan sighed. “Look, I’m not suggesting that Luke has got anything to do with this drug situation, but like you said. He’s a straight up guy. If he knows it’s going on inside the club and we explain to him that the drugs are all but killing people. He’ll help us. I’m sure he will.”

  I stared at him evenly. “I hope you’re right about that. Because if he doesn’t, I’m gonna have to go toe to toe with Ryker and I do not want to do that. He won’t appreciate me sticking my nose into club business. I gave up that right when I turned down the role of president and left the club.”

  “You won’t have to get involved,” Ethan assured me. “Because Luke is gonna help us.”

  I sighed and took another drink from my bottle, my mind wandering onto unwelcome topics.

  Where was Faith now?

  Had she gone home with Jackson or would he kiss her goodnight when he dropped her off at her place? I didn’t like either scenario, but the later was preferable to the first. But what if the kiss got heated and she invited him in?

  I balled my hands into fists.

  Jackson wasn’t right for her and the sooner she realized it, the better it would be for everyone involved. I hadn’t meant to refer to myself, of course, but I was the only person I’d have been fooling if I tried to tell myself anything different.

  Chapter Five

  Faith

  I’d been at the barbecue with Jackson for a little over an hour when one of the guests told him that there was something wrong with their shower and Jacks went to see if he could fix it. Something else I’d learned about him since I’d arrived was that whenever anyone around the lodge had a problem, Jackson was the go-to man they went to try to get it solved.

  It was a hat he wore well.

  I kept finding all these different layers to Jackson that I hadn’t known existed and each one gave me a deeper understanding and a deeper respect for him.

  But was that enough to form the basis of a relationship?

  Could caring for someone and respecting them grow into deeper feelings of affection and even love? I wanted them to, I really did, because on paper, Jackson was perfect for me. If there was a magic pill I could have swallowed that would have made me fall instantly in love with Jackson Leigh, I would have taken it without hesitation. But, unfortunately, there was no such pill. I couldn’t force myself to love someone—those feelings had to develop on their own.

  And I was sure that they could develop, given time.

  Growing up in a town as small as Creede, everyone knew everyone else so I’d met Jackson’s family before, but he still insisted on introducing me to Joe and Irene, his mom and dad, when I first arrived at the barbecue. During the introduction, Jacks had come close to calling me his girlfriend—the word had been halfway out of his mouth before he’d caught himself.

  I wasn’t sure exactly how I felt about the girlfriend label, but I was glad when he realized what he’d been about to say and changed it so that I didn’t have to make up my mind about it one way or the other. I wasn’t ready for a label just yet.

  Jackson’s parents welcomed me into their home with open arms and I appreciated the gesture. I liked them a lot. They were a great couple—still so much in love after thirty-five years together. Their affection shone in their eyes every time they looked at one another. It was beautiful and had me glancing at Jacks surreptitiously, wondering if that might be us one day. I tried to imagine us together thirty-five years into the future, but I couldn’t get a vivid picture of it in my mind’s eye.

  Much to Jackson’s chagrin, his mom and dad couldn’t resist telling me all kinds of stories about the things he used to get up to when he was a little boy. They’d had the lodge since before he was born so Jackson had grown up there and it showed. He was so comfortable there, so at ease. He was such a positive person and had a kind word to say about everyone. He was quick to laugh, too.

  It occurred to me again that Jackson would make a wonderful husband and even a father himself one day, I just didn’t know if I was the right person to be at his side.

  When Joe went off in search of more beer, Irene pulled me to one side to quietly ask me how my mom was doing.

  When my dad passed away a few years ago, my mom had taken it about as badly as anyone could. She’d spent months laying in a deep pit of depression that I had tried desperately hard to get her out of. Then, a couple of years ago she had a stroke and as crazy as it might sound, that stroke had saved her life. Because, suddenly, all of her energy and focus had been taken off how much she missed my dad and instead, been poured into her healing process as she tried to get herself back to the person she’d been before it had happened.

  I helped my mom as much as I could, but I worked full time during the day as a manager in Clark’s gift store in town so I didn’t see her as often as I would have liked. My sister was married with two children so when her kids were in school, she went to spend time with my mom during the day. Between us, we were able to give her the care she needed. It hadn’t been easy, but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I’d do anything for her or for anyone in my family.

  Jackson had a younger brother Owen and although he was at the barbecue too, Jacks hadn’t gone out of his way to talk to him and he hadn’t introduced me to Owen as he’d done with his mom and dad. Unfortunately, Owen had made a point of seeking me out.

  It would have been fair to say that I didn’t like Owen.

  I’d always f
ound there to be something creepy about him—something that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end whenever I was near him. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was that bothered me about him, exactly, other than to say that something was off about him. When he looked at me, I always felt as if he was leering and when he spoke, his words always seemed to have a double meaning—if they weren’t openly offensive.

  Although Owen was in the same MC club that Coop had once belonged to, Coop could pull off the bad boy biker to a tee, but Owen didn’t have the same knack or more likely, the inclination. He came across as downright dangerous and I suspect that was exactly how he wanted to portray himself.

  Jackson didn’t have a close relationship with Owen and from what I’d seen and heard, their parents despaired of him too. I had to wonder if something had happened to set Owen on the wrong path or if he had just chosen it willingly.

  I was standing off to the side of the yard with a glass of wine in hand, enjoying a moment of peace as I waited for Jackson to come back when Owen approached me.

  “So, are you the one who’s banging my brother?” he asked with his usual sneer.

  They were the very first words out of his mouth and they set my teeth on edge, but I suppose I should have anticipated it.

  My back stiffened and I glared at him. “If that’s your way of asking if we’re dating then yes, we are.”

  He snorted. “I didn’t ask if you’re dating him, I asked if you’re banging him.”

  “That’s none of your damn business,” I snapped, “So I won’t even dignify it with an answer.”

  He laughed. “That was an answer and it told me all I need to know. You ain’t putting out, are ya?”

  I’d never wanted to slap someone so much in all my life and I wondered, not for the first time how Jackson and Owen could be related. Owen chuckled at my lack of a comeback to his quip, but when he caught sight of someone over my shoulder, the smile slipped from his face.

  “Well, I’ve got shit to do, princess, so I’ll catch you later. Don’t let that brother of mine go without it for too long, ya hear? He’s uptight enough already.”

  Owen disappeared around the side of the house, leaving me staring, open-mouthed after him. I’d only been in his company for a couple of minutes and I felt like I needed a shower. I pulled in a shaky breath in an effort to calm down when a familiar voice rang out behind me. It was a voice that made goosebumps rise on my arms and a tingling sensation race down my spine. Unfortunately, the tone of said voice was far from friendly.

  “What are you doing here?”

  I spun around to meet Coop’s annoyed gaze. “What do you think I’m doing here? You know that Jackson and I are dating.”

  The intensity in Coop’s eyes stole my breath and I tried desperately hard to compose myself under their scrutiny.

  His expression was a mask of stone. “Is it serious?”

  I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out, probably because I didn’t have an answer to give him. I mean what could I honestly have said?

  Well, Coop, no it’s not serious right now, but I do want it to be serious because I’ll do just about anything to get over you so that I can start living my life.

  “It’s new,” I hedged.

  Coop grinned. “In other words, it’s not even close to being serious. Good, because you don’t belong with Jackson. He’s wrong for you.”

  “Yeah? Well, who’s right for me?” I challenged.

  Coop lifted his shoulder in a shrug and averted his gaze. “Not him.”

  I was about to tell him to go to hell and that I didn’t need his words of wisdom when he started to speak again, cutting off my words before I had the chance to form them.

  “You need a man who excites you—one who challenges you. You should be with someone who worships you.”

  “Jackson does worship me,” I countered.

  Coop inclined his head. “Okay, I’ll concede on that point, but he doesn’t excite you, does he? He doesn’t turn you on. You don’t fantasize about having his cock inside you.”

  I gasped. “How dare you! You don’t know a damn thing about me or what I fantasize about and you have no right to judge me. I’d have a good life with Jackson.”

  Coop shook his head. “You’d have a safe life with Jackson—a predictable life. You’d be settling for him. I mean, honestly, how many conversations can you have about the weather? Don’t you want something more for yourself—something better?”

  I was so angry I couldn’t speak.

  A haze of white-hot fury clouded my vision. What the hell gave Cooper Brown the right to speak to me like that? He was talking as if he knew me inside out when the truth was, he didn’t know me at all.

  Because he’d never taken the time to get to know me.

  When you spent a lot of time with someone, you learned about their nuances, their hopes and dreams, and their views, but Coop didn’t know any of that stuff about me. Other than sleeping together one time and doing little else but passing the time of day on too many occasions to count, we hadn’t spent any time in each other’s company at all. So Coop wasn’t qualified to pass judgment on my life choices.

  I couldn’t decide what made me angrier—his cruel assessment of what he thought my life with Jackson would be like or the fact that he might have been right about it.

  I came so close to walking away from Coop, but right at the last moment, Owen rounded the corner of the lodge and looked between us, a twisted grin stretched across his lips.

  “Well, well,” he drawled. “That was an interesting conversation you just had. Does Jackson know what’s going on between you?”

  As Owen glanced between Coop and me questioningly, my stomach clenched and panic bubbled up in my throat. It would hurt Jacks if he thought something was going on between Coop and me. Jackson and I might have only just begun dating, but our relationship meant a lot to him. He’d been asking me out for years and when I finally said yes he looked as if he’d just won the lottery. Whatever happened between us in the future, I never wanted to cause him any pain.

  I wasn’t the type of woman who would date two men at the same time. Aside from the fact that I didn’t want to, I just wasn’t wired that way. Besides, one man was more than enough for me and even if I felt otherwise, it would have been pointless.

  Coop wasn’t relationship material.

  And he never would be.

  So the only thing left for me to do was to move on and find a man who was exactly what I needed.

  Coop would never be anything more than a man I’d made a mistake with once.

  “There is nothing going on between us,” I bit out. “And there never will be.”

  Coop’s nostrils flared, but I didn’t wait around for him to challenge my statement. I turned on my heel then strode across the yard in search of Jackson.

  Chapter Six

  Coop

  “Well, what do you know? Just the person I was looking for.”

  Owen lifted his chin defiantly, but despite his outward show of boldness, I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was just about ready to bolt. I found it difficult to look at him with anything other than disdain, especially knowing what I did about him.

  He pulled a cigarette out of a pack then lit it and took a long pull on it. He took his time blowing it out then asked, “Yeah, what do you want with me?”

  I checked over my shoulder to ensure no one could listen in on our conversation then leaned in close.

  “Where did you get the drugs, Owen?”

  His gaze darted around before finally coming back to rest on a point somewhere south of my face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Is that how you’re going to play this?”

  “Yeah.” He lifted his head to finally meet my gaze. “That’s how I’m going to play this.”

  Owen leaned against the wall, acting for the world as if he had little interest in our conversation. But I knew differently. I knew that at that very mome
nt, he would be wondering how I had found out about him and despite his nonchalant manner, he would also be trying to determine what else I’d been able to discover.

  “Arlene was nearly killed,” I said. “Does that mean anything to you? Do you care at all about a person’s life? Because it was real close for a while there.

  “It could have gone either way. And who do you think I would have directed the police toward if she had been killed, huh? Do you think that I or anyone else who knows about you would hesitate to turn your slimy ass in?”

  “Arlene is a junkie,” he spat. “She probably just took too much.”

  “Arlene has been a functioning addict for years,” I said. “As well as you or anyone else around here knows. She didn’t take too much. She was given bad coke.”

  “Bullshit!” he spat.

  “Did you sell her the drugs off your own back or are you dealing for the club?”

  For the first time since our conversation had begun, Owen looked afraid. “I didn’t sell anything,” he ground out. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  I nodded. “I see. Okay well, I guess the sheriff and I will just have to do some more digging.”

  Owen snorted. “Ethan Smith doesn’t know his ass from his elbow. Good luck with finding anything.”

  “Oh, we’ll find out where you’re getting it from,” I said. “Don’t you worry about that. And when we do, you’re all going down.”

  I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and used it to slam him back against the wall before leaning in closer until we were almost nose to nose.

  “And if I catch dealing in town, in my bar or to my employees, I won’t report you, Owen. I’ll beat the shit out of you. Are we clear?”

  When he didn’t answer, I slammed his head back against the wall so hard that the sound it made nearly made me wince. “I said are we clear?”

  He nodded, his eyes wide. “Crystal.”

  I took a step back. “Perfect. I’ll be seeing you around, Owen.”

  I turned then strode through the yard to get back to where I’d parked my Harley. On the way, I caught another glimpse of Faith. She’d met up with Jackson and as he spoke to her animatedly, he gazed at her as if she was his whole world.